Kentucky State Fair nauseates crowds in late August

By: Blakely Greenwell

Every year people get pumped up to go spend their time at the Kentucky State Fair. That’s probably because when one thinks of the fair they assume to find fluffy cotton candy, adorable animals and other festivities. Visions of cute couples, innocent rides and spunky carnies may also come to mind.

One step in the fair will blow these visions out of your mind until you’ve had another year to forget. In reality, foods like “Krispy Kreme donut burgers” will make anyone’s stomach hurt just from the smell. If that isn’t enough to knock someone off their feet for a week, a nice dose of “fried Kool-Aid” is sure to do the trick.

If the nausea hasn’t hit you yet, walking around the crowd of overly sweaty enthused cowboys (or girls) is the next step. Being elbowed, pushed and squished is inevitable whether you enjoy it or not.

A little less crowded, but no more enjoyable is the animal housing. Only the smell of huge cows, goats and other farm animals can overpower the stench of fried food in the air, and that is really saying something. These animals are anything but the nice fluffy animals one imagines for the fair. They “moo” and “baa” in way that sounds angry or depressed. Although you feel bad to watch them tied up closely to a pole, I would rather eat “fried kool-aid” than get that close to any of their mouths.

The only thing harder to survive than the food, people or animals is the rides. Pay five dollars to ride a death trap someone probably set up in an hour? No thanks. The sounds and movement coming from those rides are enough to question its stability, let alone the incoherent attendants working the rides.

If rides aren’t your thing, maybe you would enjoy the games. Everyone loves an overpriced rigged game. Not to mention the carnie, who usually looks more like an ex-convict than a friendly game host.

Give everybody a year or so, and the Kentucky State Fair will seem like a great idea again. No doubt, next year our stomachs will be healed from the damage and we might not remember how crowded and smelly it is. Until then, farewell to the Kentucky State Fair.

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