Principles of food sharing

By: Madisyn Zipper

Sharing food the correct way is a vital part of any relationship, but what are the wrong ways?

First off, if the person that wants food doesn’t ask before taking it, it’s totally okay to never talk to them again. I mean, it’s not like my french fries are jumping out of their containers and into other peoples’ mouths. The first rule of taking food: always ask. I don’t care how related they are, it’s just downright disrespectful.

Secondly, don’t wear out the welcome. If I say it’s okay to take a couple, I mean it’s okay to take a couple; not half the bag. I didn’t choose this bag of chips to give them away. The concept of sharing is already profitless enough; I don’t need anyone ruining my blissful contentment with the food I offer.

Lastly, the line marking annoyance can be blurred when it comes to share-friendly food (ie. nachos.) Allow me to clear it up. The paramount that withstands every other rule regarding nachos is to not be gross. If I touch it, I have to take it. No matter the lack of toppings or the sogginess factor. Next, alternating between the perfect bites that seem to leap towards my mouth and the depressingly bland topping-less nachos is a vital point. Taking all of the good stuff will, or at least should, leave one friendless. And the last rule of nacho-sharing is to be courteous. Don’t take the last one without asking, even if it seems like no one cares. Newsflash: They’re just being nice.

Hopefully these tips aid in the avoidance of dirty looks, but if they don’t, you probably deserve that dirty look anyway.

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