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Stopping the feminization of horror icons

By Dalton Martin

It’s here, the creature that’s been chasing you halfway across town and now it is time to make a final stand in a decrepit, rundown house. It busts down the somewhat rotted door and you finally glimpse at the demon. It is simply terrifying, with its freshly manicured nails, Bieber-esque hair, and wearing a cardigan. Wait a minute…a cardigan?

Yes my fellow horror-holics, the worst has happened to our beloved beasties, they have been turned into neutered husks of their old glorious selves. What has caused this utter blasphemy? The plague that is mainstream feminization is to blame! Mainstream feminization, the point when something gets so successful that the big wigs in corporations decide to make it gender friendly.

For some reason business people think that when they have a good idea that works for one gender, it can work for the other. Enter Ken from Barbie, or GI Jane from her Joe counterpart. When the vampire sensation hit the fan, countless Twilight knock off novels overtook bookstore shelves. This in turn made those greedy corporation heads to decide to make a girl friendly toy based off the new phenomena. Insert the horror that is Monster High. For those unaware of this true monstrosity, it’s a series of dolls made by Mattel that are fashionable ghouls with incredibly corny names like Draculaura and Clawdeen. It’s Bratz gone undead, and that is where I draw the line!

Like any normal person who felt violated by these terrible acts, I believed it would all go away. MTV decided, however, to keep it all going by purposely feeding into the Twilight craze by giving it every movie award under the sun, and creating the series Teen Wolf. People have seemed to forget that monsters were made to scare us, not to be boy toys that girls become obsessed with.

You can make a modern monster movie and not necessarily need someone who looks like a supermodel to be the villain. My prime example is the 1987 film The Lost Boys, in which the vampires were not your typical “pretty boys”; they were your 80’s era hair band bikers (ex. Motley Crue) that most people despised.

Monsters were meant to be despised, not loved, scary, not attractive. I will lose all hope the day horromance movies become frequent. That’s why I urge you, if you are a fellow horror monster traditionalist to make a statement and boycott Breaking Dawn: Part 2 on November 16. Keep our ghouls ghoulish, or un-die trying!

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I’ll make an undead man out of you!