**The column below represents the personal views of the student journalist.
By just the age of 10, everyday was packed with school assignments, extra worksheets, and back to back sports practices, all meant to “build discipline.” One day at practice even just mumbling “I can’t do this today” led to an awkward silence within my coaches and parents. The ride home was filled with constant reminders of commitment, effort, and how I’m not doing enough. Then a different topic took over and now it’s my grades and how I’m not trying hard enough, and then somehow we’re on the topic of my irresponsibility and messy room.
I’m on my fifth head nod in just one minute taking all these critiques about me with no complaint and a smile on my face. Once they’re finally done we sit silently as I drown in the thoughts of all the pressure on me but I can’t stop smiling or I am “lazy” and” sensitive.” Everyday is a repeating cycle of hard work, constant critiques and exhaustion.
Parents who push their kids too hard often believe that it will set them up for success but majority of the time it causes an awful burnout.
When children have all these expectations on them it builds anxiety at a young age that will only get worse. Just in the last two weeks there are 20% of kids experiencing anxiety symptoms, according to Children’s Mental Health. Not only can this pressure cause anxiety but also depression, the feeling of constant failure and never doing anything right will impact your kids mental health deeply. Once children develop anxiety and depression they don’t just go away, they will have to be medicated and deal with this their entire life.
Kids who have grown up with parents that yell, shout, or humiliate them experience more challenges in adulthood, according to PsychCentral. Parents often use the excuse that they just want to prepare them for the real world and build character, but really they are just going to make their kids terrified of pressure and actually do worse in the “real world”. Although the intention may be to build resilience, the impact can be emotionally damaging. The line between preparation and emotional harm can be thinner than many parents realize.
When a child’s everyday life is more like a scheduled corporate calendar and their worth comes based on a good day or not the joy gets replaced with the fear of underperforming. The stress constantly exhausts the body before it even gets the chance to do anything. “A” grades no longer provide a sense of pride but more so relief that you didn’t disappoint your parents. By the time you’ve made it to the point in school that you’re graduating and going D1 in your sport like your parents wanted, you’ve lost all your love and passion. The burnout started at such a young age you only did it to make your parents proud and you know if you ever quit their hearts will shatter, so therefore that pressure the parents build at a young age will never leave the child.
People may argue that parents are just pushing their kids to their full potential and preparing them for “the real world”. I get where they are coming from considering everyone wants to see their kids succeed, but there is a line drawn between preparation and emotional damage. Another argument that people might have is that it builds character but the character it builds is an emotionally unstable child. When a child’s relationship is solely based on their success then they feel that they have no worth outside of their sports, school, etcetera.
Instead of degrading a child’s every flaw and mistake, parents should uplift them and remind them they are enough. Show them they are more than a sport and more than a letter on the report card. Don’t become so involved in their sport just be their emotional support and show them love.
I’m visiting for a family holiday, exhausted because I just drove down for Louisville practice. I walk in the door and my little sister runs to give me a hug and yells “I’m going to start cheering tomorrow!” I’m sick to my stomach. I can feel all the nights sobbing and the disappointment that she will have to see on my moms face someday. I swallow it and smile and say “yay, that’s great!”