By: Emily Owens

In my life, I have come to find that I am not going to be liked by everybody.

When I was eight I had my first real fight with one of my “friends.” She accused me of stealing her pink bracelet. For the record, I didn’t because at the time I was going through a blue phase, and would’ve never picked up something pink unless forced. She was so convinced that I stole her bracelet that she ended up telling the teacher, and we were sent to the office. My “friend” had no evidence so the principal sided with me! And I was free to go.

This “friend” was one of those people in life that act as if they like you, but deep down inside they can’t stand you. It took me awhile to realize that this type of person was out there, and an even longer time to realize that these people are toxic.

My question was, “How can I tell that someone doesn’t like me?” Now obviously, there are clear ways to tell if someone doesn’t like you, but there are hidden ways too.

1. The blame game

“Ugh, it’s raining. Thanks a lot Emily.”

It’s part of human nature to be ridiculous. If someone is blaming you for things that are out of your control, that usually means they are trying to put a negative focus on you. Usually people don’t realize they are doing this.

2. Third-wheel life

“Cassandra, come ride the Ferris wheel with me!” *leaves Emily by the cotton candy stand all alone*

If you are the “third wheel” that either means your two other friends are closer or there should be a fourth person present, or someone doesn’t like having you around. Being the “third wheel” can even come down to someone sharing with everyone else, but you.

3. I can’t hear you

“Emily, why didn’t you tell me about that?” *Oops, maybe I just imagined the five times that I did tell you about that thing. *

Listening to someone is one of the universal signs that tell people that you care about him or her. If you find yourself repeating everything you have to say to someone then they probably don’t care about what you have to say, or you in general.

4. An open book, just not with you

“What’s going on?”

“Oh nothing!”

*Oh, that’s only the eightieth time you’ve told me that*

It stinks when you’re left out of the circle of information. When your “friend” refuses to tell you things that real friends tell each other, then they obviously don’t want you to be their friend.

5. Crazy eye

“…Anyways it was a really weird dream.” *person looks at you like you’re crazy*

When someone looks at me crazy I automatically know that they think I’m stupid, or what I said didn’t have any value to them. If you get this all the time then it’s probably directed to you personally.

6. No eye contact no respect

*I’ve been talking to you… look at me*

How annoying is it when you have something really important to say and no one is listening? How much more annoying is it when one particular person never listens to you? If you show respect to an adult you listen to what they have to say. What’s the difference with your friends? If you have a “friend” that never listens to you, but wants you to listen to them, then they are not your friend.

7. Not gratitude but attitude

“Emily that is so stupid! Don’t do that.” *Thank you for your negativity*

A bad attitude can turn a good day into a bad day faster than someone walking through wallpaper. A bad attitude directed to you is like stubbing your toe. What’s the attitude for? If you’re around negativity all the time don’t get surprised when you start being negative.

8. Body and tone

When you’re around your “friend” how are they sitting? Are they facing you? Are they leaning? What do they sound like in response? Are they responding? If your “friend” isn’t interested in what you’re saying then stop talking to them.

These are a few of the hidden indicators that can easily give away someone’s true feelings toward you. Plus, if they’re hiding the fact that they don’t like you they are trying to contemplate for something else that is going on.

My advice would be to not take it personally, and back out slowly.  Fake friendships only harm you. These friends are toxic because they only take. A friendship is give and take relationship. If a friendship is not a two-part exchange then it’s not real. Block out the h8ers.